Overheard Conversation: S&M, Bible Study, and the Neo-Cassenova


“…and he’s into S & M.” “And he told you?”


“With his wife?”

“He doesn’t have one. He used to have one. He has a child. But he has this damn sexy Japanese woman. Lord knows where he got her, but my God.”


I wasn’t planning to listen to the conversation behind me in this Indian restaurant. I swear I wasn't. Just picture two middle aged men - the sort you'd expect to see in church or a Republican rally.

‘…’ is when it got noisy or boring.


Image Source Unknown and entirely unrelated

“-I’d also been going to the bible study where they’re actually hotter. You see the big star now is this guy Niko - Niko is the Philippine guy. Niko is a Zen master.”

“He’s a clerk?”

“Well, not only is he a clerk. I mean Niko is like a neo-cassenova. Niko for 16 years played drums in a band in Las Vegas in the Lounge. Now that was at night. You can see him on youtube.

“During the day he was a busing at iHop. That was for 16 years. He’s very very talented at singing and dancing, but there’s certain things he’s not good at - like academic stuff. He goes to bible study too, and he’s very religious. He has a hard time - a very hard time. You see, he doesn’t express himself.

“So we were at the bible study. It was the last week - the last session - and the minister was running it. So he had a dinner for all of the people in the bible study. Now, I was sitting next to this Chinese girl. Young Chinese girl. What did I say to her? I started talking to her - told her that I have an asian child. It turns out that she’s an artist. She works at Disney.”


“-doing the drawings of the children. In the park. She went to the Art Center. So I say my kid went to the Art Center.”

It got a bit noisier at this point - here's one last snippet

“-so he says to her 'I understand you can draw, and I want you to draw my wife fucking an octopus. And with the other hand the octopus is-’"

Takeaway? I love people.

Featured image via opensourceway

Humor, Improv, WritingJeremy Shuback