Cremation vs. Burial: Jewish Mourning Practices
Below is a script I wrote for BimBam, a Jewish Educational Media Company.
Until recently, after death most people were buried, but that’s changing. For less traditional Jews, meaning those who don’t keep Kosher or Shabbat, around 20-40% choose cremation.
That said, it’s undeniable that Judaism says to bury. In fact, many traditional Jews believe that if your parent, or any relative, asks to be cremated, you should ignore that request and bury them regardless. Other Jews see it as a choice – burial vs. cremation. It’s a question of keeping tradition vs. following current trends. How do I honor my parents’ memory? Does this mean I’m going against Jewish tradition? And what choice do I want to make for myself?
People choose to be cremated for a variety of reasons.
Some think it’s better for the environment. Or they don’t like the idea of using limited land for burial.
Perhaps surprisingly, some want to show solidarity with their relatives who died in the Holocaust.
A major issue is cost. Cremations can be significantly less expensive than funerals.
And for many, scattering the ashes can have a beautiful connected feeling of returning to the earth. “For dust you are, and to dust you shall return.”
So why does traditional Judaism reject cremation?
For one, there’s a deep respect for the body. When a Jewish text with God’s name is no longer usable, we don’t simply throw it out - we’re supposed to bury it. Far more so, when it comes to a human body.
In the Torah, Abraham went out of his way to purchase a cave in order to bury Sarah, his wife. Later in the Torah, it says that an executed criminal should be buried. “You shall surely bury him.” Rabbis extrapolated this to show the importance of burying everyone.
Burial is considered important for the community and especially the family, to give support and help with closure. There’s consolation in the community caring for the body before the funeral, in people coming together for the burial, and in knowing that there will be a gravesite to visit years later. Shoveling dirt on the casket can be an important part of the closure process.
And for many, there’s also a visceral reaction against burning a body, pulling up memories of the crematoriums of the Holocaust.
If you approach a Rabbi, even a non-traditional one, asking about cremation, the first thing they’ll say is probably “Why do you want to cremate? I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Here are some points they might make:
If cost is the major concern, there are often older Jewish cemeteries in your community that might do burials less expensively. Some cemeteries don’t require supportive concrete grave liners, which are a significant part of the cost. And if your family truly can’t afford it, there are actually a few organizations that may be able to help pay for burials, depending on where you live. You certainly don’t want to go into debt in order to bury a loved one.
If it’s for environmental reasons, it’s worth knowing Jewish burials are actually better for the environment than cremations. The plain pine box and the white linen burial garments of a Jewish funeral decompose quickly. They’re meant to equalize everyone in death, by being as natural as possible. There’s a strong Jewish value about keeping funerals inexpensive, unpretentious and unadorned. There’s no fancy metal casket or noxious chemicals from an embalming process. Some Jewish cemeteries even offer “green burial options” that don’t involve a casket or grave liners at all.
Finally, if your plan was to scatter the cremated remains, it’s important to consider how comforting it is for many to have a single place to visit years and decades down the road.
The conversation about death and mourning does not begin and end with decisions about burial. There are so many Jewish traditions to consider and weave in to have a meaningful mourning experience for your family.
Death can be a very difficult topic to discuss or even to think about, but in Judaism we look at death as an inseparable part of life. It shouldn’t be a taboo topic. It’s important to have these discussions with family and clergy in advance, so you can learn about the traditions and the options while you’re in good health and can make the choices you want.
For more information about Jewish mourning practices, watch our other videos and check out the links in the description below.